Focus

I don't think I'm focused enough to keep a proper blog. I am not a big writer, so sure, i think "I should do this to challenge myself". But what the fuck am i supposed to write about?

Starting a blog is one of about 50 things i have "committed" to doing now that i have time.

In the last 4 days i have also started transcribing my entire audio journal from my travels last year. An epic task. I have 6 books I'm still telling myself i will read on tour. I am trying to document as much of this tour as i can with photos and journals. I want to organize my pictures on my computer and sift through them. I also am planning my trip to Brazil etc etc etc.

Now that my world has gone from a packed schedule to a virtually easy schedule I'm a bit lost in the evenings.

I think I'm not alone when i set a series of goals and then consciously avoid them. I feel good about setting them, because... well... wow! How amazing would i be? What an amazing person it would take to do all of those things. And how much better would i be afterward for doing all of it!

But no. instead of those wonderful productive tasks or activities I resort to the ever comfy and welcoming Internet

It captures me in its stimulating, beautiful and endless series of pages.

Check the facebook, check the e-mail, check the bank, check the news, chat, watch YouTube. Its all the same, all brain draining...but damn if it isn't more important than all that other shit i told myself i would do. I mean i thought i knew how to waste time as a kid.... I would stand over the kitchen sink, "doing the dishes", and create epic water ballets or sink ships or make whirlpools... whatever i could do to waste time.

I am super focused when i comes to procrastinating. I will stay up late to procrastinate, i will be late to appointments because I'm busy focusing on procrastination. Rarely am i late due to actual conflicts in a schedule. So yes, i am a talented procrastinator. Kate would say "that's normal for a Taurus". OK... as long as its in the stars i can accept it.

But in fact, this post is productive. Yes! even though its a post about my talent for procrastinating it is proving that i can complete something somewhat productive... a blog that nobody is reading.

There is some focus that went into the writing of this. I did doze off a bit in the middle somewhere, so if you read the whole thing go ahead and leave a comment. let me know your out there.

I'm surprised if you did read all this... whoever you are, you must be procrastinating something.

Now I'm tired of writing. my focus has shifted. Now i will spend the next twenty minutes scrolling around.

At least the majority of my day was spent expanding young minds. that makes up for squandered time later.

That's all for now.

I will be a Motel connoisseur at the end of this tour, Jesus.